I don't care about anything anymore. Wanna cut this genetic condition out of me. Gonna drink straight whiskey until I can feel something. Anything.

It's either my meds or my condition. They/It give/s me extreme moodswings. So extreme, that they/it blow/s even little problems way out of proportion. One minute I'm happy, the next I'm angry, depressed, or worse - numb. And it's at that numb stage that I am right now. Been there for the past 3 hours, and can tell it'll be here for the next 24 hours at least. It's like I can't feel anything, except depressed that I can't feel anything else. Not even interested in anything. Not laughter. Not friends. Not my life. Not even sex. Do you like my priorities? I can't even push out a mediocre "lol". Apparently all my good friends are worried about me. I don't care. I don't care about anything anymore.

Fuck it.

These meds are totally screwing with my head. I can't remember anything. I'm bored with my life. Doing the same things all the time. And since I don't remember the day before, I'm living every day the same way apparently. Living in a haze. Not even remembering my own identity. I'm slipping away into lameness. So depressing.

So from this moment, I'm living in a fugue state.

Still keeping up the blog, though. For my memory.

So tired. So...tiredd....

I can't handle this. Giving up this sleep experiment. Was a stupid idea anyway.

I was reading "The Game" by Neil Strauss the other day, I remember that, because I'm still reading it. And I saw something which looked pretty interesting. It's called the Uberman Sleep Cycle. The principle behind it is that you only sleep 2 hours per day, giving you 22 hours for every 24 hours to spend awake. Getting more things done each day. So you sleep for 20 minutes each 4 hours. My times are 9am, 1pm, 5pm, 9pm, 1am, 5am. I have a 42 day week. I've given each of the 6 time increments a different name. At the moment, it's nearing the end of Wedthree. I can't wait for Wedfour, when I'm going to karaoke at the Bended Elbow with my housemate.

The first 10 days are supposed to be horrendous, not getting REM or much sleep at all. But after that, you just drop into REM quickly.

Currently, my restless dreams are becoming lucid. Real. 2 sleeps ago, I dreamt I was grass. Perhaps I'm subconsciously telling myself that I'm letting others walk all over me. 1 sleep ago, I dreamt I was the sun, spitting my fiery flames onto the earth, lusting over the destruction of life. Weird.

2nd day into this Uberman thing, my eyes hurt like hell. My brain just keeps firing away. Thought. Thought. Thought. thoughtthoughtthoughthoughthogutthawtthawthawthawthatwhathwtha... It's driving me nuts. I lie there in the darkness, my fluorescent blue alarm clock next to my head...counting down 20 painfully quick minutes...my heart WON"T stop rushing. It's like a chicken in a pillowcase. Like a single mum trying to get christmas presents for her 11 kids at the last minute. I can't wait 'til I see hallucinations. At least then it'll be fun.

So I've decided to start a journal. Everyone I talk to about my stuff recommend that I do it. Let me explain. I've been on a certain medication for the past 6 months. Two of the major side-effects are low concentration and extreme memory loss. About a month ago (so I was reminded), I could only remember the previous 3 days. But now and ever since, I find I cannot remember ANYTHING from the previous day, let alone what happened 2 hours ago. It's really bringing me down, to say the least. I'm finding I have less motivation to do things, because I know I won't remember what happened anyway. My housemate is no help, because he has his own memory problems from some condition, which will also deteriorate over time. So I take this medication in an injection 4 times a year, and will have to, for the rest of my life. Plus, I've been told that the effects will only worsen over the next 18 months, until my body adjusts. So stay tuned, as I attempt to create a journal, more for myself than anyone else.

Facebook. Yes, you heard me right. I've been enjoying Facebook a little too much. It's my NEW procrastination tool.

Hey Freaks.

Been a while since I posted. Yes, I noticed too. Well since my last post a few things have happened. I am now 26, whereas I wasn't before. I met someone unofficially, and since it's unofficial, I won't go into it further. Anyhoo... here are random, weird, wacky (who even uses that word anymore?), and obscure things I found and want to share with you guys.

http://drew.corrupt.net/bp/
I'm sure at least half of you have seen Lego Porn

http://www.furnitureporn.com/furnporn1.html
But have you seen Furniture Porn? Methinks not.

http://www.emyrs.com/bears/
Or Gummybear Porn?

http://www.yankodesign.com/index.php/2007/06/26/cellphone-inspired-by-chinese-scrolls/
Screw the iPhone...this looks wicked cool!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1XIm6q4r4
The Potter Puppet Pals

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmG80v473AI
Tim Curry sings a song on The Worst Witch (some old show that I don't even remember). Has anyone seen my tamborine? Bahahahahahaha...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFVoLz88hiU
Now you too can become a pants man!! (Japanese Toilet Training video)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rdUaG9GSuk
I so heart this music video clip...MUST SEE!!

http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=3628&NEXTID=0&PREVID=7304&DISPLAYORDER=20070718183741&CAT=movies&NSFW=0&page=2&genre=0&rating=nsfw_sfw
Worst Music Video Ever...sure...but I can't get the song out of my head!!

http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?genre=0&rating=nsfw_sfw&ID=7315&page=3
This bitch be crazy!! She gets stabbed with tacks then has a bath in hot chili sauce!!!

http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=7313&NEXTID=0&PREVID=7278&DISPLAYORDER=20070717182130&CAT=movies&NSFW=0&page=3&genre=0&rating=nsfw_sfw
Goonies....of the Carribean...- The Search for One-Eyed Willie...?

http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?genre=0&rating=nsfw_sfw&ID=5660&page=3&nl=2&nsfwfs=yes&VIEWAGAIN=6813667&x=202&y=10
Bukakke Song for Submissive Wives

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr1ju6GoCsY
Nintendo Sex Ed...hella funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8ZD4_FL0ms
Mosh Cats! YAY!

The web be all of a Twitter these days, especially over at Twitter.com

Somebody stop me. Seriously. Hold me back. I can't get enough of the addiction that is Twitter. It's stupid. I know. Constantly telling a bot what you're doing. If anyone is interested in adding me, my username is "Richoman". I tell you what though, today I added some friends. Harmless enough, but NO! I had no idea this morning that by tonight I would be friends with William Shatner, Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Fry, Bender, the entire cast of Stargate Atlantis, Borat, Chuck Norris, Henry Rollins, and Steve Jobs. What the twit is going on in this twitting world??!

Found some strange things on the intraweb of late.

http://grouper.com/video/MediaDetails.aspx?id=1425049
This clip is called "Body Flex". I have no idea what is crazy lady is trying to do, but whatever it is, I don't want any part of it.

http://www.papertoilet.com/
If it's just black, press the spacebar and double-click the frog. Unroll it and see what happens! What a waste of 5 minutes. That's 5 minutes I could have been eating strawberry yogurt.

http://www.superliminal.com/cube/cube.htm
How hard is this?? It's a 4-Dimensional Rubicks Cube. I feel so dumb for not understanding. Plus, whenever I twist and turn it, I get headspins and I throw up in my head.

http://www.rathergood.com/hedgehogs/
WTF?? What the crap is wrong with hedgehogs these days?? Warning: not safe for kidliwinks/work/parents looming around the corner. I feel dumber for just having seen and heard that.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/6352
Failed Breakfast Cereals. Ooooh, they crack me up. Warning Again: not safe for kidliwinks/work/parents looming around the corner.

http://www.extraneo.it/goatse/detail_01.htm
...there's something not right there...Warning Again Again: not safe for kidliwinks/work/parents looming around the corner.

http://www.countrysongtitles.com/
Actual country song titles. A couple of my favourites would have to be "If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will", "I Wanna Whip Your Cow" & "Our Love is Illegal, Cause Our Names Ain't the Same ".

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/rubberjohnny.html
AAAAAARGH!! What the hell is it???

http://www.gofish.com/player.gfp?gfid=30-1036340
Warning Yet Again: not safe for kidliwinks/work/parents looming around the corner.
Sponge Bong Hemp Pants. I need not say any more.

http://www.millionairematch.com/index?tid=af3012861
Dating site for Millionaires? Stupid. Stupid.

http://www.virob.com/virob/flash/359.html
Ray. The Assassin. The Game. Very fun, very addictive.

http://www.virob.com/virob/flash/367.html
Ray 2. The sequel to Ray. The Game. Various possible endings. Hours of fun down the tube.

That's it from me. Look out for another "Strange things" post in the upcoming posts.

Looks like a monster mole-hill. That's my study load at the moment. SOOOOO busy right now. I don't even have time to do this.

So, for those people wondering where I am of late, I died from attack of the study monster.

That cold turkey quitting thing. Hmmm. Harder than I remember.

Guess my reasons for quitting weren't strong enough.

But I'm still gonna limit myself to 10 a day.

And to those who think I'm never gonna be able to quit, up yours. I am quitting. Just gonna take a while. 30 a day to none at all is nearly impossible. Down to 10 a day will be easier. And from there, it'll be a LOT easier to go cold turkey.

I will quit.

"ACHTUNG!

chonut may actually be a spider-human hybrid

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

cho may explode without warning

M EXPLOSIVE

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com


Watch out, peoples...

eh......eh......eh.....eh......eh......eh......neeeeeeeeed.......eh.......eh......smokies......eh.....eh.......eh

YAY!!

Starting to learn professional latin/salsa/ballroom dancing tonight.

Wish me luck!!

Didn't expect to see that, did you?

Let me give you the basics of the story. At TAFE we always talk about random shit on our breaks. Yesterday it was girth :P, today it was nipple cripples...and Nathan claimed that you can't whistle whilst getting a nipple cripple from someone. I wanted to test that theory.

So I puffed my smoke as much as I could to get ready, while Glen warmed his hands. I bared my nipple, while Glenn gripped tightly. As the smoke escaped my lungs, the pain set in. As he twisted this way and that, and added pressure to the tip, I forced myself not to scream. Instead, I whistled with all my might. But it was just air. I couldn't whistle. I guess Nathan was right.

When all was over, my nipple was all tingly and dark blue. Glenn has mastered this to an artform. Sore for the next class, Jimmy gave me his water bottle to "ice" my nipple. The girls and teech laughed at this, throughout the lesson.

So there you go.

That's the kind of hijinks I get up to every day. But I don't usually bear the brunt of the of the sore sword.

I've finally stepped over the line. Just like the rest of you.

Yes, that's right. Starting tomorrow, I'M QUITTING SMOKING!!!

I am just so sick of waking up each morning and coughing for 3 hours.

Tips anyone?